7/12/2002 - Entry #44
Leeds United in Stunning Victory Shocker!
Leeds United enjoyed one of the most incredible wins in footballing history today, as they thumped Fulham 7-0 at Loftus Road. The much-needed victory comes at the end of a 5 game losing streak that has seen the Yorkshire club sink to 15th in the Premiership.
The dramatic reversal of fortune came on the 19th minute, when Leeds manager Terry Venables finally snapped and pulled on a strip before subbing himself on for Ian Harte. The embattled coach then hammered 6 goals past the bewildered Edwin Van Der Sarr whilst simultaneously directing his outfield players. Both Fulham and Leeds fan alike erupted in rapturous applause for this king amongst men, chanting his name from the rafters. The game was capped off when Leeds goalkeeping hero Paul Robinson rolled a ball into the Fulham net from right back deep within his own 6-yard box. As Leeds walked off the pitch at the end of 90 minutes, the Footballing Association rushed to meet them in order to hand them the title trophy, almost 6 months before the end of the season, with over 20 games left to play. Alan Smith held the cup aloft as a divine shaft of light descended from the clouds above and illuminated him in holy splendour as angels could be heard cantillating his name. David Batty cast off his walking-frame and announced that he was healed, and Tony Blair declared this to be the Happiest Day In The World, calling on the public to celebrate forevermore.
March on, Leeds! March on!
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