19/01/2003 - Entry #61
I'm afraid I have nothing much to talk about, so I'm going to resort to football again. One for the home fans, yet again. Sorry Johnny Foreigner.
I've been looking at The Football Association's website today, and looking through their coaching certificates. I really want to take one of the courses to get an official coaching licence. It'd just be to teach non-league teams, like, but that'd do me. I'd love to be a football manager. It'd be quality. I'm not the best player in the world by any stretch of the imagination, but I reckon I'd make a fairly decent manager, to be honest. I'm fairly good at reading the game (which is why I'll always be a full back) and the last two or three games I've watched, I've shouted my opinion at the TV, only for the likes of Andy Gray and Peter Reid to say the exact same thing at half time. Hardly conclusive proof of my credentials, I know, but I do reckon I'd be alright at it. But it's all just wistful dreaming. Ignore me.
Anyway, while I was there I was looking through the details of the UEFA Pro-Licence Coaching Certificate, the new elite training course for all the best coaches in the country. It's a weekend of workshops and lectures on all kinds of different aspects of the game, basically. Not just anyone can apply, obviously. You've got to work your way up. If you had, you'd be rubbing shoulders with the likes of David Platt, Stuart Pearce and Nigel Worthington on this course.
The good news is you get one-on-one tuition from Sven Goran Eriksson, Tommy Soderberg and Lars Lagerback.
The bad news is you get a lecture on the media from Jim Rosenthal, the least charistmatic man in televisual history.
The even worse news is that "coaching legend Dave Sexton will get the weekend underway on the Saturday evening, addressing the students on the skills of handling elite players" while on Sunday "Preston's former Scotland manager Craig Brown will talk about the transition from international football to league football."
You may remember Coaching Legend Dave Sexton as the man who won absolutely nothing whatsoever in four years as manager of Manchester United. Getting the most out of his elite players, there.
And this is the same Craig Brown whose transition from international football to league football has seen him take Preston North-End, a team which missed out on promotion to the Premiership by just three points last season, all the way down to 18th place in the current table, and has lost the last 5 games on the trot, including a bewildering defeat to Stoke City, who are only third from bottom. Nice going, Craig!
Good to know the future of English football is in safe hands, then.
A little more digging at the website finds an article defending the inexplicable hobby of 'Groundhopping' - the pursuit of watching football at as many different stadiums as possible. The article refuses to accept that the hobby is in any way "sad" and goes on to offer examples as proof:
- "A hopper known as ‘Tram' travelled 250 miles to watch a Kent League match at Greenwich Borough FC. Tram specialises in touching both crossbars at every new ground he visits. But at Greenwich Borough, he couldn't reach the woodwork. He subsequently complained to the referee, alleging the crossbars were 10 feet off the ground. The kick-off was delayed by seven minutes whilst the crossbars were pulled down and repositioned."
- "Some hoppers don't count a visit to a ground if they have seen a goalless draw there. One intrepid gentleman has travelled from London to Stenhousemuir three times and still hasn't seen a goal."
- "Pete Llewellyn and Dave Jolly combine their groundhopping hobby with a passion for botany, seeking rare alpine flora on their trips to new grounds."
- "Sussex hopper Barry Perthen took flying lessons so that he could photograph non-League grounds from the sky."
- "Hertfordshire-based groundhopper Dave Roxborough makes it his business to touch the match ball at every ground he visits. Dave usually stands near the corner flag, hoping to throw the ball back when it goes out for a corner. He says: ‘When I arrive at a new ground, I walk around trying to work out where the ball will easiest be retrieved by me."
Ah, fair do's then. On the grounds of those examples, I think I can safely say they're all far too cool for school.
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