23/04/2003 - Entry #80
Well, that was a good game, I must admit. Manchester United versus Real Madrid, that is. I'm very glad that Real won, because for one thing they're a much, much better team more worthy of winning, and also because it's Man U, for god's sake! Nobody ever wants Man U to win. Scum.
Ha. I went to the shop earlier though, and took a quick look at the newspaper sporting headlines, and couldn't help but laugh. Ignoring the fact that I've already told you, see if you can guess from the headlines just who Man U were playing tonight:
"Sir Alex plans a Real late show" - The Daily Mirror
"Fergie jibes hide his Real concern" - The Daily Mail
"Rio Must Show His Real Worth" - The Daily Star
"The Real Question Is: Can You Stop Them?" - The Sun
"Real trouble: Ronaldo will be a major threat to United" - The Daily Telegraph
"Real deal? Try the side of Di Stefano and Puskas" - The Times
Nice work, lads.
Also, imagine my glee as Leeds beat Fulham yesterday, to make relegation almost impossible. Hooray! Onwards and upwards, lads. I guess that also means that caretaker manager Peter Reid gets the bonus that he was promised if he could keep Leeds in the Premiership. How pointless is that? He only had to get 5 points from 7 games. I mean, I'm grateful to him, and I think he's done pretty well since he took over, but giving him a bonus for such a tiny number of points is ridiculous. I'm trying to think of other totally pointless bonuses that might be given next season.
How about a bonus for every time Alex Ferguson calls us "fucking idiots"?
Or a bonus for each time Gerard Houllier turns a corner! Maybe an extra bonus if he can keep them all in a straight line.
A bonus for every time Paulo Di Canio gracefully accepts being substituted.
A bonus for Paul Scholes for every tackle he makes which actually gets the ball, and not the player.
A bonus for Bobby Robson every time he correctly names one of his own players.
A bonus for Ken Bates, if he can possibly manage to not be an utter twat.
A Kevin Keagan bonus for every use of the word "massive."
A bonus for Alan Shearer for every goal celebration that uses both arms.
A wage rise for every time Jamie Carragher crosses the halfway line.
Michael Owen: one huge lump sum, paid to never give another interview ever again. Ever.
A series of bonuses for Darren Anderton, for all the time spent on the treatment table. Automatic fine if he ever actually steps onto the pitch.
A bonus for Sven-Goran Eriksson every time an England goal is actually scored by one of his first-choice strikers. The poor man would be broke in no time.
A Dwight Yorke bonus for every time he features in a tabloid kiss-and-tell story. Extra bonus if the word "romp" appears in the headline.
And, rather topically, a bonus for Clive Tyldsley every time he mentions the Man U versus Bayern Munich 1999 Champions League Final any time United go a goal behind, regardless of how relevant it actually might be.
Aaanyway...I was going to talk about something else, but I can't remember what. So I'll just go work. I REEEAAALLY need to work. 2 weeks and 2 days to do an entire project. I still haven't started. Have to do it. Have to. Gotta gotta gotta.
After I've finished playing Champ Man 4.
Please sign the Guestbook. For the love of God, sign it now.